Can I Have Sex with Someone with HIV?

When it comes to your sexual health, staying informed and making responsible decisions is essential. One question that often arises is whether it's safe to have sex with someone who is HIV positive. Many myths and misinformation surround the topic of HIV. In this article, our aim is to debunk those myths, break down the stigma around HIV, and help you to make an informed decision if you're thinking about getting intimate with someone who is living with HIV.

Understanding HIV

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. It is a sexually transmitted infection that weakens the body's immune system, making people more susceptible to infections and diseases. It's usually transmitted through sexual contact, sharing needles, or from a HIV positive mother to her baby through childbirth or from breast milk.

Debunking HIV Myths

There have been numerous myths and misconceptions surrounding HIV and AIDS for years. While we have made progress in understanding the virus and helping people living with HIV, these myths continue to persist. Here are a few common myths you may have heard about HIV:

Myth: HIV can be transmitted through casual contact.

Fact: HIV is not transmitted through casual contact such as hugging, shaking hands, or sharing utensils. Neither is it spread through saliva, tears, or sweat. It is transmitted through specific body fluids, including blood, semen, and vaginal fluids, usually through unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or sharing needles.

Myth: Only gay men can catch HIV.

Fact: Although the LGBTQIA+ communities are more commonly associated with HIV, anyone - regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation - can become infected with HIV. In fact, half of all new HIV diagnoses were in heterosexuals (49%) in England in 2020, compared to 45% in gay and bisexual men.

Myth: You only catch HIV if you have a lot of unprotected sex with different partners.

Fact: Anyone can catch HIV - it could be your first or fiftieth time. No one deserves to be judged or stigmatised because of it.

Myth: HIV/AIDS is only a problem in certain countries.

Fact: HIV/AIDS is a global issue that affects people in all parts of the world, regardless of nationality, race, or socioeconomic status. The prevalence and impact of HIV may vary between regions, but anyone can be at risk of HIV infection, and everyone deserves access to prevention, treatment, and support services.

Myth: HIV can be transmitted through mosquito bites.

Fact: HIV cannot be transmitted through mosquito bites. The virus cannot survive or replicate within mosquitoes and therefore cannot be transmitted from one person to another through mosquito bites.

Myth: HIV can be cured by alternative therapies or herbal remedies.

Fact: Currently, there is no cure for HIV. Although antiretroviral therapy (ART) can effectively manage the virus, allowing people with HIV to live long and healthy lives, there is no scientifically proven cure.

The Evolution of HIV Transmission Risk

Advancements in HIV treatment in recent years have been a gamechanger for people living with HIV. It's possible for an infected person to live a long and healthy life, and have relationships and sexual partners. We can put this down to two main factors:

Undetectable Viral Load: Effective HIV medication results in an "undetectable viral load". This means an infected person has an extremely low risk of passing HIV to their sexual partners. This concept is known as "Undetectable = Untransmittable" (U=U). When the virus is suppressed to undetectable levels in the blood, it becomes highly unlikely to be transmitted sexually.

PrEP: Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) has revolutionised HIV prevention. When taken consistently, PrEP has been shown to be highly effective in reducing the risk of HIV transmission.

So what is PrEP, and why is it important?

PrEP involves taking a daily medication called Truvada or Descovy, which contains a combination of antiretroviral drugs. It is recommended for people who are HIV negative but at risk of contracting HIV. If you are dating someone who is HIV positive, you should take PrEP. You could also consider taking it if you have unprotected sex with multiple partners or attend sex parties.

How does PrEP work?

PrEP works by preventing the HIV virus from establishing a permanent infection in the body. The medications in PrEP create a barrier that prevents HIV from multiplying and spreading in case of exposure. When taken consistently and as prescribed, PrEP can reduce the risk of HIV infection by up to 99%.

Safe Sex Practices

If you're taking PrEP - remember that it doesn't protect you against other sexually transmitted infections. Combining multiple prevention strategies provides the highest level of protection against HIV and other STIs. Here are some general safe sex tips:

• Communicate: Honest and open communication is important in any relationship, particularly when discussing sexual health. If you're considering having sex with someone who is HIV positive, have a conversation about their status, their treatment plan, and their viral load. This information will help you to make an informed decision and put your mind at ease.
• Test regularly: If you're having sex with an infected person, take an HIV test regularly. With HIV or any other STI the most important thing is knowing your status, so you can get access to treatment if you need it. HIV testing is easy with iPlaySafe - you can buy a home STI testing kit here.
• Use condoms: Using condoms during sex is one of the most effective ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission. Condoms act as a barrier, preventing direct contact between bodily fluids. Always ensure you use a latex or polyurethane condom for penetrative sex.

What if I've already had sex with someone with HIV?

If you have had potential exposure to HIV (e.g., condom breakage or unprotected sex with an HIV positive partner), you should take Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). PEP involves taking antiretroviral medications for a month and should be started within 72 hours of the exposure. If your partner is on effective treatment for their HIV infection, this will prevent HIV transmission (because U = U) however it is best to contact a healthcare provider or go to your local A&E immediately to discuss your situation.

Other things to consider

The emotional aspect

Having sex or being in a relationship with someone who is living with HIV can bring up emotions and concerns. Misconceptions and fear fuel the existence of HIV-related stigma and discrimination even today. Educate yourself about the realities of HIV transmission and treatment to challenge any preconceived beliefs you may have.

Seeking professional advice

You may want to find a specialist HIV clinic or speak to a healthcare professional who works in sexual health. They can give you advice based on your specific circumstances. Local sexual health clinics offer confidential and non-judgmental services. They can provide you with counselling and information about prevention methods like PrEP and PEP. They may also offer support groups or resources for people in relationships with HIV positive partners.

Knowledge is Power

In summary, when you are both armed with knowledge and taking the right precautions, it is safe to have sex with someone who has a positive HIV status.

Remember, if they are on effective HIV treatment and have an undetectable viral load they have an extremely low chance of passing HIV to you. The concept of U=U has helped to reshape our understanding of HIV transmission, and this combined with PrEP is a very effective tool for preventing HIV infections.

People living with HIV can have safe, happy, and fulfilling sex lives! If you still have any questions or concerns, talk to your partner about how you feel.