women sexting sending flirty messages

Sexting 101: The Ultimate Guide on How to Sext

The Art of Sexting - a Crucial Life Skill! 

So what is sexting, how do you do it, and can it even be taught? We can give you tips on how to start but ultimately you need to find your inner sexting A-game. Single, dating lots of people, or nicely settled in a relationship, sexting can be a game-changer. It can ignite the spark, reignite the spark, and explode that spark into full-blown unrivalled sex.

According to sexting facts and statistics, 8 in 10 adults have sent sexual messages, images, or videos to intimate partners. The SKYN Condoms Millennial Sex Survey found that 62% of millennials sext at least once a month, while 48% do it at least once a week. You saucy lot!

So how do you negotiate that fine line between being sexy and then just being plain weird and awkward? What games can you play that stick to sexting etiquette? What even is sexting etiquette?! 

Let’s see if we can arm you with some tips and ideas that’ll build that anticipation and lead to the ultimate hookup.

Right, limber up those texting digits, open up your phone and let’s get down and flirty as we explore sexting!

What is Sexting?

Take a text message and sex, stick them together and hope for fireworks! For the sake of formalising things if your imagination hasn't quite caught up yet, here's the dictionary definition.

The activity of sending text messages that are about sex or intended to sexually excite someone.

It's not only about simply sending nude photos, here at iPlaySafe we think of creating fun and exciting sexually explicit messages as an art!

What's so Good About it?

Sexting is an integral part of the modern exploration of sexuality, and a natural part of sexual relationships. It can be a great way to build trust and explore boundaries and intimacy with a potential sexual or romantic partner.

How to Sext Successfully

Number one rule over and above anything - sexual messages must be mutually consensual. You’re both in for some cheeky chat and you’ve agreed. Nobody likes a one-way street of unsolicited dick pics or vag pics that fly into your DMs unannounced. Before you begin sending photos and videos, or a sexy text, make sure you trust the other person. You should NEVER feel pressured into sexting.

How Do I Start a Sexy Text?

Broach the subject, “I feel like we could take this to the next level”, “Is sexting something you’d like to try”?  Let’s face it, more often than not sexting is a natural path with a romantic partner or someone you have a spark with, but if it’s not progressing in your chat and it's something you want, then be open and honest about it.

Once you’re game-on then let the love lyrics flow. Channel your inner poet and get writing. Don’t overthink. If you’ve got jiggy already then what did your partner like? What did you do that made them quiver under the sheets? 

Recount it to them, dismiss the nerves of writer’s (cock) block, tell the story, write the script for your next encounter.  

Right, let's do this, time to nail the virtual world of sex chat. By the end of this blog, your aim is to get your partner sliding off their chair and quivering in anticipation as to what’s going to happen when your bodies collide in the real world. 

Here's your Ultimate Guide on How to Sext

Start Slowly

Don’t get trigger-happy (and dick happy) and go straight for the close-up. No one needs to see the veins on your hard-on pulsating. Build the momentum, create the anticipation, aim for the ultimate climax. You slide that dick pic into an inbox from the start and it's like taking a bow on stage before you’ve even delivered your lines. 

Call on your Mr Darcy. Colin Firth never whipped his penis out before reciting some poetry. How about “you were on my mind all last night, your touch, your smell, your breath, I can remember every last detail”. Boom, wet knickers right there. 

Sext your Ideas: Translate Them into Action

Whether you’ve done stuff with your partner before or this is new territory, who doesn’t want to hear what might happen to them? Love giving head? Tell them how you’re going to work your lips up and down their shaft until they explode in your mouth. Love eating out? Tell them you’re taking them for breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one go. That your tongue is going to devour them and leave them dripping down your chin. 

Build the plot. We've all got one in our head. The perfect shag. The perfect drama played out under the sheets. Sext it. Sext those desires, those fantasies. Recount how you want to make them feel and what you’re going to do to make them feel that way. 

This is your stage, your script, so act it!

Write the Play: Create your own Erotic Story

Enjoy creating your own drama? Then write it down. Let the sexy creative juices (and other such juices) flow and write your own erotic story. Be you, be a character, be anyone at that moment in time. Then pop it in a word doc, email it across whilst they’re at work, and wait for them to slide off to the toilet for a quick ‘break’.

Take Photos: Keep the Clothes On

What’s the fun in that? Who needs to see a photo of me with my clothes on? Unless you’re going on a blind date we’ll assume they’ve seen you already. So no, you’re not sending a photo of you with your clothes on. You’re sending a photo of things that will tap into their imagination, open up the libido, hit the tingly bits and send the blood pumping through the veins. Got a sex toy? Photograph it lying on your bedsheets. Bought some new underwear? Take a pic of your hand holding that bit of sensual saucy silk between your fingers. 

Where’s this going? More photos at the next level naturally. 

Naughty pics enter stage right!

Take the Pics: Take the Clothes Off

You photographed the new underwear. What's the next step? You wearing it. Close up of the top of your thong from behind with a little sneak peak of your bum. A finger slipped provocatively into the top of your thong at the front. 

Not forgetting the ‘hims’, how about a saucy new pair of boxers with a hint of a bulge, pushing at the material in its bid to escape, pulsating at the anticipation of what’s coming next. 

And then - take off the clothes. 

Cast aside the underwear. Unleash the bulge. Show what the finger is pointing to. 

Get Classy with the Nudes: Zoom Out

Let’s talk sexual photos. Compare 2 photo scenarios. One is a close-up of the bulging veins of a dick about to explode. The second is a full-body nude photo showing every curve, every lump and bump, every sensitive spot, every possible bit of skin that could be explored by hands, by lips, by tongues. Which one would you prefer? 

The Unsolicited Dick Pic

It's all about permission and consent, so whilst you're having some flirty foreplay and fun, remember never to send that unsolicited dick pic. You might think it's steamy and the receiving party will love your porn dick, but it's a no-no. Sexting shouldn't be awkward, it should lead to juicy fun, so remember the example of bad sexting is sending your dick pic to many people, even friends who really do not want that image.

So there we have it. Sexting at your fingertips. Stick to a few simple tricks and tips to get you comfortable sexting, and you’ll be under the sheets acting out your scripts in no time. 

Let’s see sexting as the age-old art of penning beautiful love letters that got our grandparents the ‘one’. Play the long game, your ultimate goal is to interpret words and pictures into mind-blowing sex. It’s no easy task. Mastering the art of witty chat, a hint of dirty, a pinch of romanticism and, the sexy selfie should be a degree in itself. Remember how rampant it was at the start of a relationship? 

Find that intensity again. Make the times when you’re not in bed count too!

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