So often the term ‘boundary’ sits alongside the topic of sex. Whether we’re pushing the boundaries, exploring the boundaries, or defining the boundaries, safe to say we are fast approaching a world of no boundaries. That’s not to say there aren’t rules in place. Of course, there are. Strong, powerful rules that are to be respected, honoured, and followed. But boundaries in terms of acceptance? Boundaries in terms of experimenting? Boundaries in terms of having to fit into a ‘definition’? Well and truly smashed.
The world is a more accepting place. And where it doesn’t accept, we challenge it to accept. We redefine the levels of acceptance and we educate to a new level of understanding. And it is from this position that sexualities, kinks, choices, and desires are embraced, adopted, and displayed loud and proud.
Let's take you on a whistlestop tour of some of the most common sexual fantasies. Let's expose some taboo fantasies, and sexualities that to some are completely normal. Let's openly discuss some terms that you might have never heard of. Now let's say proudly it in our a - z guide to fantasies and sexualities.
Where once we were confined to 'gay', 'lesbian' and 'bisexual', now there is a whole dictionary-worth of terms. There is something for everyone. No longer should there be a situation where a connection to a group, belonging to gender identity, or a label for a popular fantasy cannot be found.
The term 'label' can often leave you feeling confused. Parts of the label 'fit' but other parts don't. Perhaps you prefer to live your life outside of a 'label' or perhaps, like many of us, you identify with multiple 'labels'. And that's totally fine.
In the words of Dr. Suess;
"Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one on earth who is Youer than You".
There is of course a line of thinking that identifying yourself with a label or definition could help you find your 'tribe'. Finding a community that you feel safe in, a community that you can form bonds with could lead to a level of security, a feeling of confidence about your sexuality that you may not have experienced before. Perhaps you like oral sex, dirty talk, public sex, and sex with a stranger; the list is endless and the communities with common feelings are also endless.
Here's our iPlaySafe rundown of sexualities, desires, kinks, and quirks that will educate you, entertain you, and hopefully entice you to embrace each and every person and each and every 'label'.
They're everywhere. Dating apps, hookup apps, party apps, fitness apps, games, weather, social media. EVERYWHERE! So we're going to flag 1. For the sake of shameless marketing and for the sake of your sexual health - us - iPlaySafe - because we care, we want you to embrace our STI testing kits as part of everyday life and we want you to openly chat about desires, fantasies, experiences, concerns. Because real life isn't the glamour of porn sets, it isn't always mind-blowing sex, it isn't always straightforward. So brave, be bold, and talk about it.
This is a strange one to explain. In short, it's someone who is attracted to all genders but isn't attracted to their actual partner. Without dwelling on this one too long, 'bi' refers to bisexuality and 'romantic' to the appeal of the relationship itself but without the sexual intimacy side of life. It works for so many couples so who are we to knock it.
Bumble recently announced that 53% of us have, since COVID, come to realise that it's absolutely fine being single. A cunning marketing ploy? Or actually the truth. We are going with 'they speak the truth' because what the heck is wrong with being single and all the freedom that comes with it? You are free to mingle, free to choose when, where, how, and who you date if, that is, you want to date at all.
"All borders are open".
When you find an app with a tagline as such you know you're seeing eye to eye. PURE, we hear you and we stand with you. This is a dating app where the platform provides the freedom to be unashamedly YOU. So you have a sexual fantasy, step into the Pure platform, share that desire and you're sure as heck going to find someone who shares the same desire. And if they don't, they sure as heck might like yours.
So in the words of PURE: "Come as you are on Pure and get ready to enjoy yourself"
Click here to download the Pure app!
This really needs very little explanation other than to say be kind. To anyone. And everyone. We live in a sometimes confusing world when it comes to sex and all that it entails. So be unashamedly proud of who you are not but in equal measures, who other people are.
Throwing another definition at you here. If you've conjured up images of mermaids and sexual fantasies involving attractions to mermaids then just rewind. A finsexual is attracted to 'femininity' and everything 'woman'.
Whether a threesome or an orgy of multiple bodies writhing around trying to find the spots that make you moan, if community sex is your thing then you go for it. Same-sex, other women, other forms of 'group', there are so many shades of grey where group sex is involved. Stay safe before and after, use a safe word if you need to, define your own boundaries, then dive right in.
Given holding hands with your partner if you didn't live with them was banned not so long ago you'd worry we'd all become sexually aloof. On reflection, how ridiculous to ban sex between partners! But let's not dwell on the past. Let's instead embrace the desire to want to shag for the sake of shagging. No 'bubbles' to see here, just casual bonking when casual bonking is desired. Bonk away we say (but be safe).
There is nothing wrong with talking openly about anything to do with sex. In being open and honest we'll encourage others to do the same. It is sex. We are sexual beings. We have sexual desires and fantasies. We have sexual questions and concerns. Talk about it.
If BDSM is your 'thing' or you want to experiment with it then get exploring. There is a kink for everyone. From rough sex to sex in a public place to power play to sex that might involve tying, whilst it may not be dinner table chat, it is certainly being discussed and experimented with more and more.
An age-old term that doesn't seem to be used as commonly as the new definitions arriving. But a lesbian is a lesbian - a woman attracted to another woman.
One of the most common sexual fantasies there is going. Sex with multiple people is a thing of dreams to many. Love-making en masse, the threesome oozes intrigue, sex appeal, sexual juices, and an aura of mystique that many of us want to dive into. Of course, there are barriers, nerves being a big one, approaching the subject being another, finding that throuple being yet another. Have a read of our tips and tricks on How to Have a Successful Threesome and find out what makes them so steamingly hot.
Whether you're polyamorous or in an open relationship, each term is referring to a kind of non-monogamy. Whilst there are subtle differences between the terms if you choose to have sexual connections that are non-monogamous remember it is not about a lack of something in a current relationship. It is about the addition of desire, love, and affection, and whilst it can be complicated, it can also be wonderful.
An omnisexual is a person who is attracted to all genders. Not to be confused with pan sexuals who don't consider gender when it comes to attraction.
There you just said it out loud. It grosses so many people out. If it's not for you then that's just fine. If it is for you, then that's just fine too. You're just having sex during a time of the month when a woman's body unveils its true wonder, a biological act that is powerful and natural. So if you're curious have a read of our blog Period Sex Tips: Unravelling the Taboo. So it might be a bit messy, who cares?
You'll have seen the letters LGTBQ+. Well the Q refers to 'queer'. Queer refers to someone who is not heterosexual.
No further explanation of 'R' for 'Respect' is necessary here other than to say - do it.
Sex isn't just something going into something else and hitting the spot. There are so many nerve endings, so many sensory spots to explore, tease, touch, to tingle. Sexual activities can expand beyond the realms of just achieving that orgasm. Think beyond the genitals and get inventive in your sex life. See sexual desire as a platform to express your inner kinks, your inner sexy beast, and bring your inner sexual fantasies to the surface.
Whether you're single or not we all know you don't need a partner to bring on the almighty 'O' for orgasm. There are even toys to simulate oral sex. A sexual act no longer needs a sexual partner. So get playing and have a read of our guide Mind-Blowing Toys for Mind-Blowing Orgasms for some playful ideas.
They sure are and that is why the human race and life is incredible! How dull if we were all the same, all had the same sexual relationship as the person next door. Sexual activity is a minefield. Accept that each and every person is different.
So different! And so often totally misconceived. The vagina is a word you hear commonly, vulva is not. Why is that? It seems many think its the same thing. Well, they're not and which word you use matters. A lot. The vulva is external including your clit, urethra, labia AND vagina. The vagina is the muscular canal that connects the uterus to the vulva. You are most welcome for the biology lesson. Bet it's blown your mind. Grab a mirror and go and check out your 'V's down there.
Whether you're straight or any of the few terms we've mentioned in this blog you are wonderful. Question away and we hope that you land upon who you truly are. And whilst you find that person, have fun and enjoy the journey.
We are all sexual beings. If you're struggling to nail down who you are and want to, there are online quizzes you can take. Don't expect 100% accuracy but it might help channel your thoughts.
We're not just talking about masturbation here, we're talking about everything to do with you. Physically and mentally - do you.
Genitals. We all obsess about playing with genitals. We need to touch the genitals at some point to bring on all the tingly feelings we want to feel. There are so many other areas of the body that when explored, teased, and touched can bring on all kinds of pleasure. So shift your focus to different parts of the body and get adventurous.