For many, dating can be a fun way to put yourself out there, gain confidence and hopefully, find your perfect match! Between 2015 and 2019 over a third of relationships started were by those who had met online. However, spending days, weeks and months endlessly swiping through dating apps can begin to have an impact on your mental health. Whether it's the frustration of being ghosted or feeling like you’ll never find the one, it's important to take a step back and focus on the things.
Remain Confident in who you are - regardless of comments
For some of us it's our eyes, our plumped lips or maybe the way we smile. Every one of us has a part of our body and personality that we like about ourselves. These are parts of us that we don’t need people to compliment us on - we just simply know it. Remembering your positives when dating online will maintain your confidence and feeling of self worth.
You are more focused on your faults than anyone you want to date
We are our own biggest critics. More often than not you will be the only person able to see the parts of your body that you dislike. If someone you meet is obsessed with your faults - then they are not the one for you, no argument. Whether you think they are the best looking person in the world or the most stable match you have ever had, your potential life partner should be someone who makes you feel better about yourself, not worse. This type of behaviour is a red flag, and staying in these types of relationships could expose you to emotional abuse further down the line.
An alternative way to think about dating could be to use this dating period to ease your negative thinking about your body and self. If you find yourself feeling negative about yourself, notice what it is that people are complimenting you on. Other people see the best in you.
Maintain your life and friendships around dating
Don’t let online dating become your full time job. Dating is a part of your life that should work around things like your job, friends and family. However, don’t become a person that becomes known for putting their dates before their friends. Make sure that you are still making time to be with your friends and family, doing things that excite you and fulfill you. Doing this will help you maintain a healthy perspective while dating.
Take your time
Rome wasn’t built in a day and relationships aren’t formed overnight. The average person will spend about eight months on dating apps before they find their long term partner, swiping through about 4,000 profiles. During this time you’ll experience ghosting, trolling, blanking and rejection. These are common elements you come up against when you dive into the dating pool.
Overall, it's important to take a step back while dating to reflect on your situation. Make sure you aren’t becoming over-consumed by dating, you are still taking the time to do the things that make you the happiest, and that you are surrounding yourself with the right people.